Gain followers

One of the strategies to generate trust in others is to actually do something similar to what you ask. If people hear you asking to eat your veggies, but spits of brownie jump out of your mouth as you speak... well, they'll start suspecting that you didn't eat yours and jumped to the dessert, right? Yeah, you probably eat your veggies earlier, but the doubt is already there...

Quick note: Although I used "eating your veggies" as an example, which most parents will relate to, your team members are not children and shouldn't be treated like that. There are similarities in how the relationship works, but they are grown-ups that can take care of whatever comes their way.

Show the way

At Mattermost, we have an unlimited vacation policy. It is more challenging to enforce than one could think. I have to check on my team and ensure they are getting at least a couple of weeks of rest (I try to get them to get more, but that's the lower limit). And if you ask anyone, they would think that's easy, and there is no need to check on that, right? I wish! Some people tend to forget; some feel it might be frowned upon, or they are just not used to having that many days. So I've to ask people to stop and take some time off. But if I only do that once a year, what I get is only the minimum. And I wish not to need to do that kind of talk. So to avoid it, I must ensure they understand it is encouraged. That means not working when you are visibly not feeling great, taking time to rest, publicly announcing when you are going to be out, celebrating when others do, and, on 1:1s, making sure they feel ok with having that time off. And it is tough for me to truly disconnect from work; I want to be there for the team in case they need me, but I'm not doing them any favor with that behavior.

This is an easy example of the above, but it applies as if you wanted to ensure they follow some other process. It is helpful to stop and think: "why am I asking them to do this?" and try to walk the same path as they do (as much as possible, no one is expecting you to do both their work and yours).

Going back to the trust topic, there is another reason why you should be preaching by example. Once you earn that trust, people will follow you. Not blindly, but it will require much less effort to step where you were before if they trust you. You don't have to be your team-members role model. If you are the role model of some, that's great!  Be aware that it is impossible to be everyone's role model, but you can be a guide. One that they know trust, and follow.

Takeaways

• Be a guide for your whole team, not a role model.
• Do as you say, don't contradict your words with your actions.
• Celebrate when people follow your steps.